grim bitch​/​sick shit

by collander

supported by
themolluscdimensionseeker
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themolluscdimensionseeker I cannot select a favourite track. I love all of them. These are dreamy, luminous, intelligent, humorous, hypnotic-satire, femme reclamation of language and tender raw waves of body frequencies.
Anna
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Anna this is so amazing! its the sound of solidarity from one sick bed 2 another!! its queer crip femme beauty/ugliness; it enriches my spirit and gives me power. thank u so much 4 creating this fab fab album Favorite track: quiet enough 4 u.
queercripfemme
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queercripfemme collander's music empowers me to honor my crip, queer, femme bodymind. this music reminds me that existing is fierceness and it is enough. Favorite track: doing things.
Abigail Palmer
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Abigail Palmer I have been waiting for this album my whole life. THANK YOU
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credits

released March 23, 2016

ABOUT
that feeling when the medical industrial complex is yr ex.

this is from a three week-long first peek into the world of low-spoons electronic production & mixing.


THANKS
love to my sweet queer bubs who feed me chili baked potatoes in the bathtub, and to all the chronically ill and disabled people who hold it down in all the ways, see for reference:
sinsinvalid.org/blog/disability-justice-a-working-draft-by-patty-berne

album photo by ariel appel <3
***********************************************************
any funds earned from this album will go to
disability justice fam at Sins Invalid (sinsinvalid.org)
***********************************************************

[IMAGE DESCRIPTIONS]
1. there's a top horizontal bar image -- white salonpas pain patch on green corregated backing strip, covered in green glitter. 2. there's a small artist image on the right side of the page: a white femme dressed in a pink patient gown stares at the camera and holds a pink stethoscope to herself. 3. there's a large square image for the album art. it's a photo of a white femme sitting in a bathtub filled with floating trash. she's wearing green lip gloss and eating a greasy meal out of a paper tray with a white plastic fork.

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

collander Berkeley, California

collander is alli yates, a sick queer bed-mongering babyghoul living and eating salty snacks in the bay area

www.instagram.com/collander_

www.facebook.com/collandermusic/

soundcloud.com/collander
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Track Name: pain_babes_radio
i feel like shit
i feel like shit

your life it is made of magic
my body is pretty tragic

least i got my pain, got my babes, got my radio

i feel like shit
i feel like shit

least i got my pain, what you got?
a stethoscope

least i got my pain while you use antiseptic soap

least i got my pain, what you got?
a fancy coat

least i got my pain, got my babes, got my radio
(i feel like shit)
Track Name: quiet enough 4 u
[before you put your stethoscope on the chest, always listen to the breath sounds of the patient's mouth]

am i quiet enough for you baby, quiet enough for you?

[or noisy]

am i quiet enough for you baby, quiet enough for you?

[first the normal subject]
[and now the patient]

when you feel my pulse, when you fill my scrip,
am i quiet enough for you baby, quiet enough for you?


hi there, i don't know if you're my psychiatrist, neurologist, rheumatologist, or just some random medical worker who likes to probe things
but i'm here to thank you, and to tell you how you make me so
fucking sick.
Track Name: prescribe me yr body
shame on me for doing without you
for choosing without

shame on me for doing without you
for choosing without

if you really want to cure me baby there's only one sure thing
if you really want to cure me baby there's only one sure thing

prescribe me your body please
don't tell me about all of the side effects that i could get from being in your love
don't tell me about all of the side effects that i could get from being in your love
prescribe me your body please
Track Name: no trying
i'm on the bus and i am eating ice cream
i'm on the bus for public crying
i'm on the bus because my body is mean
i'm on the bus
and i'm not trying

i'm not trying that way anymore
i'm not trying that way anymore

maybe if i eat different
maybe if i move different
maybe if i were different
i wouldn't feel like this

i'm not trying that way anymore
i'm not trying that way anymore
Track Name: doing things
guess i gotta do a thing
all the things that matter
if i cannot do a thing i wont count in this world

well i got out of fucking bed
and i almost made some breakfast
where is my standing ovation for this hallowed day

i did a thing
i did a thing
now i can go to bed
Track Name: medicalize me
you know what you're doing to me
they didn't teach you it in med school so you get to learn for free

instead of empathy, you're just medicalizing me
you're a goblin of emotion
and i hate you
Track Name: blood left
i dont have any blood left for you
i dont have any blood left for you
i dont have any blood left for you
i dont have any blood left for you

how could you still see it that way?
Track Name: emptyhanded
you just seem to think that
i intentionally planned this

you took all my fingers
and then you called me empty-handed

you think that your trauma
cancels out the way you acted

but what we learn as self-protection
cannot be the only way we know how to move

you took all my fingers
and then you called me empty-handed
Track Name: how will u forget
how will you

how will you forget what i feel like near you
how will you forget that soft part of my skin

how will you

how will you forget how you made me nothing
everything that happened is what you think of you

how will you
how will you
how will you

all these intestines and my qualities i showed to you
i never wanted anything
just to be close to you