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grim bitch​/​sick shit

by collander

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1.
blood left 01:31
i dont have any blood left for you i dont have any blood left for you i dont have any blood left for you i dont have any blood left for you how could you still see it that way?
2.
doing things 01:02
guess i gotta do a thing all the things that matter if i cannot do a thing i wont count in this world well i got out of fucking bed and i almost made some breakfast where is my standing ovation for this hallowed day i did a thing i did a thing now i can go to bed
3.
i feel like shit i feel like shit your life it is made of magic my body is pretty tragic least i got my pain, got my babes, got my radio i feel like shit i feel like shit least i got my pain, what you got? a stethoscope least i got my pain while you use antiseptic soap least i got my pain, what you got? a fancy coat least i got my pain, got my babes, got my radio (i feel like shit)
4.
[before you put your stethoscope on the chest, always listen to the breath sounds of the patient's mouth] am i quiet enough for you baby, quiet enough for you? [or noisy] am i quiet enough for you baby, quiet enough for you? [first the normal subject] [and now the patient] when you feel my pulse, when you fill my scrip, am i quiet enough for you baby, quiet enough for you? hi there, i don't know if you're my psychiatrist, neurologist, rheumatologist, or just some random medical worker who likes to probe things but i'm here to thank you, and to tell you how you make me so fucking sick.
5.
shame on me for doing without you for choosing without shame on me for doing without you for choosing without if you really want to cure me baby there's only one sure thing if you really want to cure me baby there's only one sure thing prescribe me your body please don't tell me about all of the side effects that i could get from being in your love don't tell me about all of the side effects that i could get from being in your love prescribe me your body please
6.
no trying 01:28
i'm on the bus and i am eating ice cream i'm on the bus for public crying i'm on the bus because my body is mean i'm on the bus and i'm not trying i'm not trying that way anymore i'm not trying that way anymore maybe if i eat different maybe if i move different maybe if i were different i wouldn't feel like this i'm not trying that way anymore i'm not trying that way anymore
7.
you know what you're doing to me they didn't teach you it in med school so you get to learn for free instead of empathy, you're just medicalizing me you're a goblin of emotion and i hate you
8.
emptyhanded 02:02
you just seem to think that i intentionally planned this you took all my fingers and then you called me empty-handed you think that your trauma cancels out the way you acted but what we learn as self-protection cannot be the only way we know how to move you took all my fingers and then you called me empty-handed
9.
how will you how will you forget what i feel like near you how will you forget that soft part of my skin how will you how will you forget how you made me nothing everything that happened is what you think of you how will you how will you how will you all these intestines and my qualities i showed to you i never wanted anything just to be close to you
10.

credits

released March 23, 2016

ABOUT
that feeling when the medical industrial complex is your ex.

a peek into a few weeks of low-spoons electronic production, demo tracks demo bodies.


THANKS
love to the ones who give me chili baked potatoes in the bathtub and to all the chronically ill and disabled people who hold it down in all the ways

album photo by ariel appel
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any funds earned from this album will go to Sins Invalid (sinsinvalid.org)
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[IMAGE DESCRIPTIONS]
1. there's a top horizontal bar image -- white salonpas pain patch on green corregated backing strip, covered in green glitter. 2. there's a small artist image on the right side of the page: a collander stares at the camera and holds a pink stethoscope. 3. there's a large square image for the album art. collander sitting in a bathtub filled with floating trash, wearing green lip gloss and eating a greasy meal out of a paper tray with a white plastic fork.

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collander Berkeley, California

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